Monday, July 15, 2013

Life is like a box of Chocolates

Those days that you are running on empty can be the hardest, most challenging days to get through.  I'm feeling empty, almost coasting in on fumes right now.  My mind and my spirit are playing a wicked game of ping pong, back and forth, back and forth.  I hated ping pong as a kid, basically I sucked at it, I could never hit that stinkin' little ball.  The opponent usually would whack it at me so fast or to the side that I never really had a chance.  Today's ping pong match is an epic battle between my faith and my fears.
Since this blog/journal is really all about keepin' it real, I'll be completely honest... Today's score is as follows:  Faith-4  Fear-12

I had my doctors visit to go over my CT scan and set my surgery date.  I knew going into it, this time around, that I wasn't going to be surprised by what he had to say.  I wasn't surprised but that doesn't mean that I wasn't profoundly saddened and scared by what he said.  Just let me say, IT COULD BE WORSE, like Duane worse.  There are some lymph nodes that are enlarged, in colon cancer lingo that bumps it up from a Stage 1 to a Stage 3, good news my liver looks good, no organs looked effected meaning it's not Stage 4.  The degree of the disease will now depend upon the surgery which will take place July 29, mark your calendars folks.  I will continue to pray up until that point that the number of lymph nodes effected and the tissue around it will all be small, petite, miniscule.  Please continue to pray.  I need this ping pong match to have better outcomes than the one today.  I sucked at my game today and my kids need me to be like Forrest Gump.  I love you all.


Mom said...

Forest was not facing the same challenges you and your family are. It would be strange if you weren't bouncing back and forth in your "game". You are new at this even though you have done hard things every day. Try to keep your head up except when it is bowed in prayer. Help comes from "up". I would not be scoring well at all. Love and lots of prayers.

Kory Jane said...

I was so sorry to hear about what was happening. You got this match no question. I know I have no place to talk, but when I am having a really hard time and I am looking too far ahead I get really upset and frustrated. Then I just have to take it one little day at a time. I can worry about next week when next week gets here. You will be in our prayers.

Katrina said...

Prayers for you for sure! I believe we have many kindred spirits in this life--people we haven't ever met, but just love anyway. You are one of them, someone I actually call my friend. Someday maybe we'll meet. I just think you are a fabulous person. You got this. Kick it!

Each day to live....

Finding the little things in the day that make me smile.

Duane's last Dance

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